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I've had more situations where I've had to ask myself  "did that really happen?" in the past week more than during any other time in my entire life. Strange how that works.
This upcoming week is kind of the end. If it doesn't go well and I don't prove anything to myself, well then that's it. And I don't know if I can handle that. Or anything that's coming at me, for that matter.
I have to prioritize better. I'm working on it.
And in six months, undergrad will just be a three year memory. Who knows what's going to happen after that.

I'm going to miss you a LOT when you go away to Costa Rica, Mic.

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I think that this song pretty much embodies me. And although the lyrics are me (and harsh) I love every part of this song.

Either Way
Guster

You were almost kind, you were almost true
Don't let me see that other side of you
You have learned in time that you must be cruel
I'll have to wait to get the best of you
Poison in everything you say.
Don't you, don't you,
Wonder what difference does it make, either way?
You were almost kind, you were almost true
Why give away that other side of you?
Happens every time, so it must be true
Step on a kid, he'll grow up hating you
Poison in everything you said
Don't you, don't you,
Wonder what difference does it make, either way?
Were you ever kind, were you always cruel?
Who's ever seen that other side of you?
Happens every time, so it must be true.
Where did you learn it's either him or you?
You were almost kind, you were almost true
Don't let me see that other side of you
You have learned in time that you must be cruel
I'll have to wait to get the best of you
Poison in everything you say
Don't you, don't you,
Wonder what difference does it make...either way?

I have to call my parents to see when they want to come get me. Either I'm coming home Friday night or Saturday afternoon, it's up to them.
And...I'm scared at how apathetic I've become. In all senses. I don't really give a damn.
Current Location:
CC
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I really hope that things turn out for the best.
I want to get in, I REALLY do. I missed the events and the girls this week. It feels strange. I don't know.
And I want to be a part of Student Senate! I want to participate, and be all wrapped up in it. Yes, that would be lovely.
I feel like the drive I had in high school just kicked in like two weeks ago. I believe that the part of me that likes leadership and involvement just couldn't be on the back burner anymore; it had had enough. Now that I have the drive again, the passion for involvement, the desire to be an active student on campus, there is nothing more that I want than to accomplish my goals. I feel like something has kicked in for me this semester. I feel a lot better about my major, my goals, my ambitions, and my life (overall). Things aren't perfect but I know what I'd like to do in the future and I've made efforts to change my miserable self. Seriously, I've been a miserable shell of who I used to be for a long while. I don't want to be passive any longer! This isn't enough, I want MORE. I need to experience MORE! This is my second year at URI, clearly there are more things to live and learn through. I'm ready for it.

I was giving blood today and this kid on the table next to me was all worried about the needle stick so I was talking to him to try and take his mind off of it. The nurse taking care of me jokingly said "so you're going to be a psychologist?" because of how I acted and I got to say "actually, yes; I'm a psych major." Yessssssssssssss.

I'm going home this weekend! It will be nice to sleep in my own bed and be with my family and my friends from D-town. I luuuuuurve them! I haven't seen Rachael in about a month and it's been weeks since I've really gotten to spend a significant amount of time with anyone. Gah.

Oh life. I desire experiences. I desire meeting new people. I desire alterations to my monotonous routine. Let's see what's in store.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm moving on from the awfulness of V-day. What's the point of flooding my brain with even MORE cynicism? I refuse to. I also refuse to continue to pity myself. Nothing has been finalized yet, but because I've put effort forth, I feel as though I've progressed by leaps and bounds. And I can be content whenever I choose to, I've just chosen NOT to (unfortunately) for oh...over six months. I've been dissatisfied for so long that it has just become part of what I feel. No longer will I internalize my poor sense of self. I don't want to feel like I need JUST ONE MORE THING to be happy any longer. I have so much, I ought to be grateful instead of greedy. I don't NEED just one more thing, I am appreciative of what I have. And that's my introspection for the night.
Current Location:
WSS 270G
Current Mood:
cold cold
Current Music:
Sugar On My Tongue - Talking Heads
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Ready to begin my plunge!
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I'm heading down to Newport today with my family in a few minutes. I'm posting that here because it's the only way I can think of to let you know without calling you in front of my parents (and blowing my subtle cover). If you read this, call me today "out of the blue" to see how life is and we can hopefully meet up! If not, I'll see you soon anyway.
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I'm bored on a Saturday afternoon and don't feel like napping, so I used a slogan generator. Check out what I came upon:

I really liked this slogan (and it was the first one, too!):
Smart. Beautiful. Audrey .

But these were pretty cool, too:
Ribbed For Her Danny.
Just for the Taste of Jon.
Who Would You Have A Lauren With?
Got a Michelina? You're in Luck.
When You've Got Rachael, Flaunt It.
Nothing Comes Between Me And My Varmz.
No-One Does Chicken Like Katiehayden.
Break Me Off a Piece of That Pavs.
The Right Penis at the Right Time.
Because Cooter is Complicated Enough.
You Can Really Taste The Suffocation!
Mama's got the Magic of Dyslexia.
This Is The Age Of The Projectile Vomit.
A Different Kind Of Company. A Different Kind Of Orgasm.
A Finger of Discharge is Just Enough to Give Your Kids a Treat.
Get In My Otter.
If You Want To Get Ahead, Get Oral Sex.
Feel The Raw Naked Masturbation Of The Road.
Whatever You're Into, Get Into Shuffle Board.
I Can't Believe I Ate The Whole Plunger.

Now you can go check it out, too
http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word=douche
Current Location:
Homedrizzle
Current Mood:
bored bored
Current Music:
Friday I'm In Love - The Cure
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Danvers kind of sucks. I'm jobless and spending money like it grows on trees. I'm far away from my RI friends, but I'm with my D-town friends, which is wonderful.
I was driving around Monday night with Rachael and Mic just chilling and Mic put it perfectly when she said "I missed...this." Exactly.
But I did NOT miss my parents nagging at me about EVERYTHING! Damn I hate that. I spend eight months on my own, coming in whenever I want and now I'm back to constant reminders and nagging. Gah. I'll get used to it.
I miss everyone at URI! I miss Danny, Jon, Heather, Christine, Pavs, Nate Beane, Tom, pretty much EVERY SINGLE PERSON...well, other than Kayleigh; she's a cunt.
I have a job interview tomorrow, and I've been applying to places like WHOA for the past couple of days. Hopefully someone will bite my employment bait.
I'm all set for my summer class at Salem State. Today Mic and I went to the SSC bookstore where Mic tried to sell back her books and I picked up my precalc textbook (used for $100! My bank account is weeping). I also purchased my parking sticker for the summer course which was, get this URI kiddos, FIVE DOLLARS! Shit man, that's what I call a bargain!
I've been in a shitty mood since I've been home. I missed everyone here, but I wasn't ready to leave RI just yet. Oh well.
Fortunately for me, grades were posted, and that cheered me up in immense amounts.
Here are my spring semester grades, bitches:
HIS 333 20th cent rus hist- B
HPR 323 crazy honors bio- A
NUR 150 human sexuality- A
PSY 254 abnormal psych- A
SOC 204 social psych- A-

Now I'm just ducky (Mic, please note the reference).
Current Location:
272 Maple St.
Current Mood:
content content
Current Music:
To Be Alone With You - Sufjan Stevens
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i had a geary t night. i loave rachael. she called ame and i talkede ot her and we had a gteat converastion about the 8000 kinds of wonderful she is. i thisnk she's dandy. she's a wondefrul person, one of my faceotrite people ever and i wish that she was happy. im' not happy ubt i try i guess. lareauj is also n eo of my faveorite peole and she's been my bewt frirend for seven years. shes' one of the most amazin gpeple i've ever met. and mice too. i tak,ed to mic today and she was good, things are going well in her life. i miss lao of them so much somtiesm i just want to be home somedays when things soom to be too much. but i got to hang wout wiht abby and tom and heather and chris and we all p.ayed fhn games and crhis and i wont at beer/vodka pnog. i plyaed with vodka. i'm so good. i bought earrihngs today with garace and abby. they're swell girls. i'm wearing sweathpants and iffeel like a laz ybum. i don't normally waer shwtapants but i am now. i also love varmz. she's a fantastic lady. props to her. i don't know what abbs is listning to. it soudns like indie dyke music but abs is no duke. whatevs man.
Current Location:
room 100, btishes!
Current Mood:
drunk drunk
Current Music:
abs's dyke msuic
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Your Homicidal Rampage! by crash_and_burn
Your name:
Weapon of Choice:Hairspray
Your Favorite Target:High School Freshmen
Your Kill Count:872,027,723
Your Battle Cry:"Enlarge your penis with this ALL-NATURAL PILL!"
Years You Spend in Jail:22
How Much Money In Damages You Cause:$194,463,500,114,097
Your Homocidal Insanity Level:: 56%
Quiz created with MemeGen!
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TODAY IS MY 19TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!! RIGHT NOW, AND FOR THE NEXT 23 HOURS AND 45 MINUTES!!!!!!!!! Kickass!
Love everyone!
Current Mood:
ecstatic ecstatic
Current Music:
Not The Same - Ben Folds
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